


Lifeline

by IndigoChild



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 21:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17629721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndigoChild/pseuds/IndigoChild
Summary: Not even Shepard is immune to the horrors of war...But even in the worse of times, he still had his lifeline.





	Lifeline

**Author's Note:**

> There'll never be enough Tali x Shepard fics to sate me, so I decided to add my own into the mix. This is the first of what I hope to be many.

Thessia haunted him.

Every time he closed his eyes, every time he thought he'd be able to catch a few minutes of sleep. Not a day went by where Shepard didn't see a Reaper coming down on what he knew to be hundreds of soldiers, where he didn't feel the overwhelming sense of defeat when Kai Leng pulled off with what would've given them a chance to end the war once and for all.

Not a day went by where he didn't hear that Asari cry out, desperate to hope, but answered only with more death and destruction. Even then, standing there in his bathroom, he heard it. It tore at him, threatening to consume him whole. It-

"Shepard?"

Her voice shone like a light in the dark; it snapped him out of his lapse, pulling him out of the depths of his mind. He hadn't realized it, but he had been holding his breath up until that point, gripping on the sink hard enough for his knuckles to turn white. Easing back, he shakily brought his hands together, hoping to massage the stiffness out of his fingers.

"Shepard...?" She sounded worried then, pulling closer to the bathroom door. "Are you alright?"

Doing his best to gather himself, he moved to exit, forcing a smile onto his face as the door slid to reveal the Quarian he knew would be standing there. Even without being able to completely see hers, he could still see the worry in her eyes. The sight of it - of her, it's enough to push back the darkness that chased after him. Her hands had been fidgeting together. He brought his up to stop them, taking them into his own, and bringing them up to his lips.

One chaste kiss for each, but even that's enough to cause her to flush in embarrassment. He saw it in her body language, and it's enough to bring a genuine smile to his face, breaking through the facade of the one before.

"I am now."

He meant for it to sound sweet, but his voice cracked. He hadn't realized just how overwhelmed he felt, nor how tired he was.

Tali did though. She always knew, always understood. Just as he was always there for her, she was always there for him, acting as a rock when he felt without steady ground, and a lifeline when he was drowning in himself. In that moment, she was both, leading him wordlessly toward his bed. There, she sat down, pulling him so that when he joined her, it was so that his head rested in her lap.

It was such a vulnerable position. Childish, even, but she refused to call it such. Instead, she brought a hand to his head, stroking it in a way that she knew would make him relax into her.

"You aren't alone, John." Few called him by his first name, and even with those few, it was seldom done. But for her, it was almost as natural as breathing, never in front of others, but when they were alone with one another. "Nor will you ever be. We aren't standing at your back but at your side. Whatever we face, we'll face together."

He could hear the smile in her voice - the kind of smile a mom would give a child who didn't know any better, or a lover would give another when they needed to remind them of the obvious.

"I'm here with you. Forever. Always."

He closed his eyes... and for the first time in a long time, he didn't see the Reapers. He didn't hear the screams.

All he saw - all he felt... was her.


End file.
